19 Oct 2013

Being quiet

I am at a church leaders meeting where we have an hour just to be with God and have no demands or interruptions. I didn't read the email properly and am unprepared. I have no phone, Bible, nothing. And a million thoughts in my head as normal. Drat. Everyone in the room is ready for this and we're off. OK. Start somewhere. Start with the thing Martin just said. Streams. Being refreshed. Being thirsty. I am thirsty actually. Water is fantastic stuff. Without it we would all be dead in 3 days and it just falls from the sky as a gift. Thank you God. I love water. There are a ton of verses about that. I've read them. I want to read them again. I have no Bible though. Ah but K has his phone. And he's not using it. I'll wander over like this. I'll gently try to take it and raise my eyebrows when his eyes meet mine so he knows I'm asking for it and he says YES you can have my phone. Thank you, I love you. I launch the Bible app and find verse after verse after verse about water and all other kinds of stuff. It's a goldmine in here! Read. Pray. Read. Pray. Read. Pray. And scribble like a woman possessed on the prayer wall. Scriptures, illustrations and song lyrics from ages ago that probably no one but K will recognise. Pray. Scribble. Read. Scribble. Pray. Read. Pray. Pray. Pray. God is real and he's here. Yay! And now K needs his phone back. And the background music has stopped. And there is silence. And more silence. And no Bible- paper or digital. And nothing in my long term memory. How is that possible? I know there are memorised verses there somewhere. It must be a short circuit due to the panic of trying to find them. Like trying to find your keys when you're late for school. Why don't I read the Bible more? And why don't the bits I do read sink down into my brain and allow themselves to be remembered when I need to refer to them? I need the Bible. I need it need it need it. It's just too quiet now. Everyone else is praying or reading or scribbling on the wall I've just moved away from and comfortable with all of this and I'm struggling with the no music and no Bible. There must be one round here somewhere
Ah you want to read the Bible now then, do you?
Well yes, I do. 
How badly?
Really really badly.
You have one at home.
Yes I know.
More than one actually.
Yes... (I know what's coming next)
And you didn't read it this morning did you?
Yes I know. You know too- me and mornings...?
And how about after the second cup of tea that woke you up?
I kind of got busy with work.
I have work too y'know.
Yes, but-
And I have more to do than you do.
Ah of course. Good point - well made.
There's probably a Bible over there- in the youth room.
Thanks God.