Life in zee Burrow: I spawned a man

8 Apr 2014

I spawned a man

It's finally happened. Manchild (aged 13) can now beat me at arm wrestling. We have had several re-matches and although his victory is not consistent (yet), beating him is now exhausting and has left me with aching biceps in both arms and a deep seated sense of unease about my own middle aged feebleness.

How did this happen?

He was only born 5 minutes ago.

I still think of him as being like this.

Now he's more like this.

I don't know why I'm freaked out by this new development. What's parenting all about if it's NOT to watch your kids get bigger, stronger and possibly a bit smarter than yourself?? I am consoling myself with the fact that The Look still works and he's still scared when I get mad (which isn't often).

Keith finds my reaction amusing. It'll be interesting to see if it's still funny in a couple of year's time when Manchild can slosh him too.

Sayings by uzzers which I much like

They misunderestimated me (George W Bush)

That's not just pants- it's pants with poo in. (Jackson, 6)

Salvation is like being returned to factory settings. But you have to admit there is a factory, and that there could be some settings. (Milton Jones)

If we crash, I give you full permission to eat my bottom (Jo - colleague and true friend)

I'm incredibly bendy for a short man. (Hamish, 5' 5")

He stole it from me! He stole it- my precious, my .....oh no, it's in my pocket. (Russell Howard)

Dr. Kelso: I know it was you.
Turk: [waving the plug from the pac man game around] You mean this right here? It's mine from home.
Dr. Kelso: Forty Million, Son. You have any idea how many patients I had to ignore to get that high-score? People died. (Scrubs)

God gave you existence. Don't rest till you know why. (John Piper)

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. (Einstein)

EVERYbody needs somebody else. At least some of the time. People who disagree with this should try cutting their own hair. (Craig Fergusson)

God owns all the donuts (J John)

If your willy is called a penis, why isn't your bum called a poonis? (Jackson, 6)

Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head. (Jasper Fforde, The Well of Lost Plots)