System overload

Adulting is exhausting me today. Too many emotions for one tiny shaven head. Ok - we have:

• Irritation that the work day has been spent doing lots of things with very little to show for it

• Anxiety that the to do list for tomorrow is even longer now 

• Relief that the end of financal year almost up 

• Happiness with brand new filing system (2 empty folders with pre-labelled dividers)

• Disbelief that child X has stumbled upon in-app purchases and spent £450 in last 2 days

• Gratitude towards bank who realised there was unusual activity before we did and blocked our card

• Anger that X bought pixels without authorisation

• Irritated that in-app purchase function wasn't disabled as I had believed it to be

• Disappointment that X would even try to buy pixels when you can play the game and get everything in it for free if you waste enough hours of your life playing it

• Fascination with gaming currency (gems) vs 'real' money (pounds sterling in this case) and how inter-changeable they both are when there's only ONE swipe between them

• Realisation that if I'm struggling with the above, how much more abstract a concept is this to a small/medium sized person who does not yet have a bank card

• Annoyed with X for not making the distinction anyway and clicking 'Confirm purchase'

• On 20 separate occasions

• Compassion at the level of shame and remorse he is currently demonstrating (he has been crying hot, silent tears and snot into my left thigh for the past hour and shows no signs of stopping)

• Anger with the nature of the world and the fact we even need money in the first place
• (This is not new- See here. And here)

• Anger at the Clash Royale people for making it so easy to spend large amounts of real money in a short period of time

• Admiration of the business model that makes large amounts of real money in a short period of time

• Shame that as an adult, I did not identify the in-app loophole and close it myself

• Annoyance at Apple who have taken all our money

• Slight stirrings of Hope that they might not keep it

• Growing excitement during online conversation with Apple support who want to investigate and see what they can do

• Immense relief at their decision to refund 80% of the bill
• Happy dance around living room

• Anticipation in telling X the good news

• Impatience that X has showered, gone to bed and cried himself to sleep so I can't tell him yet

• Overwhelming Love as I watch him sleep 

• Gratitude that we get to have him in our lives - despite the complications this can involve

• Empathy with the impulsive addicts who get sucked into shallow rewards and loose their homes, marriages or sanity because of lack of control. (Usually because of something far heftier than Clash Royale pixels, but the underlying principle is surely the same)

• Gratitude for the people in my life that have shown me grace when I needed it

• Delight that we have wine in the cupboard