Empty nest syndrome

E has made me a cup of tea. My kid is fantastic at making tea. (He gets lots of practise). I take the mug and hug him.

Me: What's that smell? It's like popcorn or something.

E: Doritos.

Me: But we don't have any Doritos in the house.

E: I have some upstairs. 

Me: You're hiding food in your room?!

E: I bought them myself- I'll go get them and I'll trade you some for a bit chocolate.

(We make the swap)

Me: Babe- can I get some more?

E: Have a piece of fruit first - ha ha! (This is the line I use on the kids when they ask for junk). 

Me: Why are you buying food anyway?! You need to save up all your money so you can move out.

E: Sadly that's a while off yet...

Jigsaws (part 3)

Is this how everyone builds a jigsaw?

1. Have possession of all the component parts, including a reference image of finished picture

2. Isolate all the edges

3. Build the frame

4. Gradually piece the thing together

Aside from chunky wooden jigsaws and those with under 24 pieces, I don't know of any other process to use (for grown up jigsaws).

However, Jackson recently suggested a new one to me during the stage 2 edge sort. After chatting and half heartedly helping for the best part of 10 minutes he asked, 'Wouldn't it just be easier to just put it together?'

Life begins...

They say life begins at 40. I'm not sure that's true, but I have experienced some recent revelations in this new(ish) decade so it will be interesting to see how things pan out. OK- So far we have:

1: Cooking is less painful when planned and shopped for in advance. (See more details here).

2: Parenting a teenager is very different to parenting a toddler. Toddlers can do your head in, but they're easily distracted by bubbles or twigs or Milky Way stars and they sleep for half their lives anyway, leaving much respite time to drink wine and watch trashy TV. Teenagers have far more clever arguments at their disposal and are unbelievably stubborn and less prone to the allure of twigs. And they need less sleep - even if you give them wine. Teenagers can also make a parent behave like a toddler, which is annoying.

3: If you like things clean and organised and share a home with other people who are old enough to make things clean and organised but don't, just ask them. Then ask them again. And again. (thanking them in between times when stuff gets done). They are not ignoring the mess and disorder that is so apparent to you - they just don't see it. In the same way I have a mental block in finding Bristol airport and rely on the sat nav EVERY SINGLE TIME, so it is with some people and mess. Clean up together then watch Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners and marvel at how mentally unhinged everyone else is.

4: If your evening could involve either running a bath while putting the kids to bed then soaking in it for 2 hours with a book and a cup of tea until your pulse is pounding in your head and all the hot water runs out, OR having a 5 minute shower before climbing into bed before 11pm to a strategically placed hot water bottle or the prospect of intimate relations- choose the latter. Always. Time is money, people.

5: Care must be taken while multi-tasking - or it just becomes multi failing at different things. Like cooking the meal you planned then writing this blog during the simmering phase with no timer. See?

Annoying. The pan has only just recovered from the last distraction disaster.

(To be continued)